Driving North

Our physics teacher was always talking mostly about things to do with outer space. Which was fine with me because I would much rather talk about that than physics. It might also be why I got a C in that class. One day he told us that if we were to drive way north on 65 that night, we might see the Aurora Borealis. He said it would look like red streaks in the sky. So at about 11:30, we got in my car and headed north because, why not? We drove and drove, searching the whole black sky for any tinge of red, but we never saw any sign of it. Finally we gave up and decided to head back to the dorm, and by that time, were both so tired we could barely drive, so of course you drove because I am not to be trusted behind the wheel with sleepy eyes. At least we tried.

Big 'Fraid

Grasshoppers, Crickets, Walking Sticks, Wasps, Snakes.
All existed creepily on the farm. Being small and scared of these, we were terrified when Grandma threatened to lock us in the cellar (crickets-everywhere). Why do i have a memory of jars of grasshoppers on their back porch? That has to be wrong. We weren't even safe on the front porch (walking sticks). Or in the yard (snakes). When Susan and I found ourselves suddenly locked in the smokehouse (wasps) after the door blew shut, I wasn't immediately scared, but she was. Right away she was crying and yelling, and the panic permeated my pores and overcame me. It filled my lungs. Blindly yelling and banging the door with our fists, scrambling for a screw driver to pry it open. I wish we had a video of that. Syringes of absent-minded fear still manage to find their way into my veins and release bubbles of air into my blood, headed toward my heart, my brain. And I panic. Even though I'm only about ten steps from home. Still, I'm locked up!

Dear Tessa

dear Tessa
remember to take the camera
out to your car with you in the morning
so you can take a picture looking back at your
house in the snowy
silver morning light and don't worry about
anything other than that

Tell Me Everything

Is gonna be all right.

Sometimes I have to go out looking for the song that fits how I'm feeling to lift my spirits. I guess once I find it, there's comfort in knowing that someone else felt the same at some point and wrote those words.

Today it was Kenny Loggins' Danny's Song.

My heart feels cold and crippled, so a song about tears of joy really should have made me feel worse, but the right notes and the line "Tell me everything's gonna be all right," even taken out of context, hit the spot. I need someone to tell me everything will be all right occassionally.

Because really, eventually, everything will be.
All right.

I hope.

Going Places

Let's get on a plane to a place far away.
Lose the leashes.
Get going to Somewhere.

long way Home

Remember when we were waiting
in the london airport for 21 hours
sleeping across the seats with little
blankets and backpack pillows and
me reading the Brokeback Mountain
book out loud to you and waking up
to a little black boy with crumbs
around his mouth laughing in a foreign
language in my face the chocolate
banana Frappuccino was so good I
remember it and we were ready to
be home but our hearts were stuck
in the gum on the sidewalk in Volos.

the wonder

seventh grade spanish I liked sitting behind him
staring at the back of his shiny-haired head
sometimes he turned around to talk to ME and my mind wondered if
maybe but probably not and I should forget about it but I can't
and one day he had HER initials written on his hand
so probably not
but they were HIS initials too
so maybe