the wonder

seventh grade spanish I liked sitting behind him
staring at the back of his shiny-haired head
sometimes he turned around to talk to ME and my mind wondered if
maybe but probably not and I should forget about it but I can't
and one day he had HER initials written on his hand
so probably not
but they were HIS initials too
so maybe

Spring 04

Boston is the hand inside the chest massaging the heart so it will beat. Seeds were planted there in the spring. Wishes while I dreamed in the hotel bed of my arms around this tall boy hard enough that it was bound to come true. And still I could close my eyes and blow out the candles in a breath that would extinguish every flame. And wake up to only a memory of a dream.

Now when the beating stops, a scalpal moves through my flesh quickly a gloved hand reaches in to find the lifeless organ you're tall with a brown soft sweater letting me dance with you and it's springtime in Boston.